Ew ew EW

Fell off the wagon and gained 10lbs in 6 months.  Why the fuck is it so hard to just not have food in my mouth?  Am I actually a food addict or am I just bored?  What I need to do is to have some fucking control here.  Diet Coke isn't going to help me lose weight.  In fact, Diet Coke is probably a culprit in this case.  Fuck Diet Coke.  I'm drinking water and tea today.  Already had a nice ice cold glass of water (which counts as two 8oz glasses, two birds with one stone cup, eh?).  The tea isn't so good.  It's some kind of cleansing tea I bought a few months ago.  It tastes exactly like the ingredients...blech.  I had some home-made minestrone soup and a couple of bites of cake I made a few days ago.  Now, I'm vegan...all the stuff I make has no animal products or meat in it.  You'd think it'd be easy to lose weigh right? Not me.  I love cooking, so I found all of my favorite foods and made them vegan.  CRAPOLA.  FUCK FOOD.  I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING THE CHUNKY GIRL.  If I'm going to live in California before the year is through,  I sure as hell don't want to be afraid of wearing my bathing suit, or regular clothes for that matter.  Do all women in Cali look like supermodels?  I hope not.  Here is my vow...AGAIN...

I WILL NOT EAT JUNK.  I WILL DRINK WATER AND NO MORE SODA.  TRUVIA AND NO SUGAR.  FRUITS AND NO CHIPS.  SMALL PORTION SIZES.  EXERCISE FOR 30 MINUTES (like I used to) AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST- STOP EATING WHEN IM NOT HUNGRY!

Day 8

1. Onions rings and curly fries
2. Mellow Mushroom pizza

Calories: 1500+++++++

Oh boy.

Day 7

1. Moes burrito with black beans and brown rice with cooked onion
2. 2 bean and rice chalupas
3. 5 Oreos

Calories: 1500++++

Bad

Day 6

1. Large Chik-fil-A fries
2. 2 Boca chicken on buns

Calories: 1140

30 minutes of yoga.

Day 5

1. Blueberry pomegranate juice with blueberries and small banana.
2. Salad with dressing
3. Tofu

Calories: 495

1. 1 cup of whole grain rotini pasta
2. 1/2 cup of red sauce

Calories: 495 + 280 = 775

1. Salad with dressing
2. Few bites of tofu

Calories: 775 + 180 + 20 = 975

1. 1 cup of whole grain rotini pasta
2. 3 tbsp of sauce

Calories: 975 + 280 = 1255

Day 4

1. Burrito with brown rice and black beans with cooked onions and green peppers at Moe's
2. Boca chicken with wheat bun
3. Diet Coke Caffeine Free
4. Diet Coke
5. Gingerbread

Total calories:  1010 !!!

New goal reached!  Under 1200 calories!  I noticed after doing this for three days that I am less hungry and when I do eat, I get full quicker.  That is a great step on moving forward!!!  Also, went for a 30 minute walk with my love last night.  Need to drink water and I'm getting some more fruit tonight or tomorrow for smoothies in the morning.  Will have to calculate how much I'll be having in a smoothie since it will be my breakfast.  Hopefully I can get some low-cal stuff and some real juice instead of the really sugary stuff.  Trying to stay clear of sweets, although I did have gingerbread tonight BUT it was a small amount and I limited my intake.  :) I am so proud of myself!

1. Blueberry pomegranate juice with blueberries and tiny banana

Total calories: 1010 + 185 = 1195

Day 3

Day 3 has started and ended.  I had:

1. One small apple
2. One doughy pretzel with cinnamon/agave nectar
3. Two slices of pizza with red sauce and vegan cheese

Estimated total: 915 calories

If hungry again, which I don't forsee, I will have another apple.

Doing well with my food consciousness.  Now all I need to do is remember to take my vitamins and drink more water.